People learn from other people. In fact, it is fair to say that there are very few human beings on the planet that are learning 'new' concepts and expanding on ideas in creative ways. The vast majority of humans do not learn from principles and statistics...but they learn from what they hear and read from other people. The internet is a gold example of this.
This is great, because we are exponentially learning new things every day! Unfortunately, there is a downside to it, as well.
People also have a personal bias to the information that they deliver that is generated from several personal factors. When information is relayed, it is often filtered through these biases.
What does this have to do with Motivation?
Unfortunately...when there is a group of people that is 3 or more, there is a "Lowest Common Denominator" principle that takes place because of the above mentioned bias. The Lowest Common Denominator is achieved when each person has put their information through negative filters. These negative filters are based off of insecurity, fear, and lack of goals.
If you talk to people, they will give their interpretation of what they know based off Negative filtering and the groups lowest common denominator that keeps them safe.
An example of this is that if there is a group of 5 people sitting and watching TV, and one of those people says, "Hey, let's go running!" The odds of getting the other 4 people to go running is highly unlikely...I would say probably 1 out of 3000. This is because each person in the group does 2 things:
1)Figure out what the lowest common denominator is between the entire group. This generally has them abandon their personal desires and seek out what everybody else would think if they agreed.
2)Remember what they have learned based on negative filtering. "Riding is work", "These 2 people will look at me funny if I say yes".
These 2 steps are usually presented as a short round of "ummmm"s, looking at each other, and having insecure looks on their faces.
The one person is then stuck making a decision. "Do I stay with my friends and not stick out...or do I do what I feel is good for me?"
My conviction on this decision was solidified from something that somebody told me. "You need new friends". This advice is a bit brash as you don't achieve much of anything if you abandon your friends. BUT, it is valuable advice to remember that looking out for yourself is more important than looking out for your friends. If you seek to do something different than your friends, then it is important to understand that they are not going to help you and you may need to find somebody else to help.
I very strongly feel that if a group of people are trying to hold you back from what you want, then you need to not take their vote into consideration.
Does this mean you should abandon your friends? No. Does it mean that you should leave your spouse? No. What does that mean? It means you should do what you want to do, and add motivating people to your base of relationships that will inspire you and help you with your goal.
As soon as you step out of the mold of the lowest common denominator, you have changed the equation and you are doing what you want. If you sit back down on the couch, you are neither getting your needs met, nor changing the outcome of the situation.
Lets say you leave the couch-sitters to go and ride your bike...and you meet other bike riders who have done this for a long time. You have now become the lowest common denominator of that group and have nothing to do but learn and excel. In the couch-sitting group, you became a prime-number...a number that nobody could identify with...But know you have become the lowest common number. The others in the bike-group know this. They will encourage you for your sacrifice and welcome you to the group.
...But now you are the lowest common denominator. This is why people like to be around humble, learning people. If the 'lowest common denominator' doesn't care and doesn't learn, then they hold back the new group. If the 'lowest common denominator' desires to learn and grow, the group recognizes that the new member is a temporary setback, however benefits the group in the long term.
This principle works in all areas of life:
-Finances: Should I try to live debt free even though it means not looking like everyone else?
-Job: Should I start my own business, even though it means not doing what everyone else is doing?
-Religion: Should I seek out what is important to me, even though it is not what everyone else expects?
-Fitness: Should I try to get into shape, even though nobody else wants to?
In order to break out of the mold, you have to make a sacrifice. This is the hardest thing that you will have to give up in order to reach your goal. Is your sacrifice doing something alone instead of with your friends? Is your sacrifice standing up for yourself? Is your sacrifice telling your spouse, "Well I need to do it, so I am going to do it. You can join me if you want..."
Whatever your sacrifice is, it won't be easy...but it will be worth it.
Remember. Everybody watches the person who breaks the mold. Externally, They will judge you, they will mock you, and they will project all of their insecurities onto you. Internally, they will wish that they had the courage to sacrifice what you have sacrificed.
Why am I doing triathlons?
-I feel that it is important that my children know that they can do anything. Every other parent feels this way, right? The funny thing is that even though parents know children always learn by example, many times the parent themselves are not doing anything at all. Their children grow up doing the same thing as everyone else.
-Just like Single mothers and parents who fight to maintain a living...I am going to make sure my children see a living example that shows them they truly can do anything they want.
This is great, because we are exponentially learning new things every day! Unfortunately, there is a downside to it, as well.
People also have a personal bias to the information that they deliver that is generated from several personal factors. When information is relayed, it is often filtered through these biases.
What does this have to do with Motivation?
Unfortunately...when there is a group of people that is 3 or more, there is a "Lowest Common Denominator" principle that takes place because of the above mentioned bias. The Lowest Common Denominator is achieved when each person has put their information through negative filters. These negative filters are based off of insecurity, fear, and lack of goals.
If you talk to people, they will give their interpretation of what they know based off Negative filtering and the groups lowest common denominator that keeps them safe.
An example of this is that if there is a group of 5 people sitting and watching TV, and one of those people says, "Hey, let's go running!" The odds of getting the other 4 people to go running is highly unlikely...I would say probably 1 out of 3000. This is because each person in the group does 2 things:
1)Figure out what the lowest common denominator is between the entire group. This generally has them abandon their personal desires and seek out what everybody else would think if they agreed.
2)Remember what they have learned based on negative filtering. "Riding is work", "These 2 people will look at me funny if I say yes".
These 2 steps are usually presented as a short round of "ummmm"s, looking at each other, and having insecure looks on their faces.
The one person is then stuck making a decision. "Do I stay with my friends and not stick out...or do I do what I feel is good for me?"
My conviction on this decision was solidified from something that somebody told me. "You need new friends". This advice is a bit brash as you don't achieve much of anything if you abandon your friends. BUT, it is valuable advice to remember that looking out for yourself is more important than looking out for your friends. If you seek to do something different than your friends, then it is important to understand that they are not going to help you and you may need to find somebody else to help.
I very strongly feel that if a group of people are trying to hold you back from what you want, then you need to not take their vote into consideration.
Does this mean you should abandon your friends? No. Does it mean that you should leave your spouse? No. What does that mean? It means you should do what you want to do, and add motivating people to your base of relationships that will inspire you and help you with your goal.
As soon as you step out of the mold of the lowest common denominator, you have changed the equation and you are doing what you want. If you sit back down on the couch, you are neither getting your needs met, nor changing the outcome of the situation.
Lets say you leave the couch-sitters to go and ride your bike...and you meet other bike riders who have done this for a long time. You have now become the lowest common denominator of that group and have nothing to do but learn and excel. In the couch-sitting group, you became a prime-number...a number that nobody could identify with...But know you have become the lowest common number. The others in the bike-group know this. They will encourage you for your sacrifice and welcome you to the group.
...But now you are the lowest common denominator. This is why people like to be around humble, learning people. If the 'lowest common denominator' doesn't care and doesn't learn, then they hold back the new group. If the 'lowest common denominator' desires to learn and grow, the group recognizes that the new member is a temporary setback, however benefits the group in the long term.
This principle works in all areas of life:
-Finances: Should I try to live debt free even though it means not looking like everyone else?
-Job: Should I start my own business, even though it means not doing what everyone else is doing?
-Religion: Should I seek out what is important to me, even though it is not what everyone else expects?
-Fitness: Should I try to get into shape, even though nobody else wants to?
In order to break out of the mold, you have to make a sacrifice. This is the hardest thing that you will have to give up in order to reach your goal. Is your sacrifice doing something alone instead of with your friends? Is your sacrifice standing up for yourself? Is your sacrifice telling your spouse, "Well I need to do it, so I am going to do it. You can join me if you want..."
Whatever your sacrifice is, it won't be easy...but it will be worth it.
Remember. Everybody watches the person who breaks the mold. Externally, They will judge you, they will mock you, and they will project all of their insecurities onto you. Internally, they will wish that they had the courage to sacrifice what you have sacrificed.
Why am I doing triathlons?
-I feel that it is important that my children know that they can do anything. Every other parent feels this way, right? The funny thing is that even though parents know children always learn by example, many times the parent themselves are not doing anything at all. Their children grow up doing the same thing as everyone else.
-Just like Single mothers and parents who fight to maintain a living...I am going to make sure my children see a living example that shows them they truly can do anything they want.
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